Showing posts with label depression diary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label depression diary. Show all posts

Monday, 18 July 2022

NuMb

This blog was written before and after my blogs, HINDI and BETRAYAL respectively. But due to some personal reasons, I am publishing it late.

     It's been a while since I wrote my last blog and though I wanted to be regular with blogging, I just couldn't. Life, if you are an emotion-driven empath, makes you numb. And to top it with all the more sufferings, my DNA is that of an introvert, socially awkward, blunt empath.

     I was solving my math problems when suddenly, my pen pushed me to pen down this blog.(And people wonder why I love Math) Well, coming back to the point of this blog, I realized that my life has been full of so many "If only I had known better!"s. I could have saved myself from so many heartaches, betrayals, futile trying to make people better understand or see the truth.

     I would have let myself move on when I was hoping they would see and change. I wish I had known that the scars they showed me on their bodies, were mere tattoos to misguide others. I would not have, not at all, spent the slightest energy on the person, for whom I was ready to die once, if I had already known, she looks down upon "Bengalis". I would not have considered my parents "God" and seen them as just humans like you and me.(Edit: They are the best parents I could have have got.)

     I would not have thought that all my dreams would come true just because I prayed for them. You have to work hard and be patient, dear! I would noy have been that dreamer and wanderlust person, if only I had known "Reality will never let you escape.". 

     Today, I know better and still don't know so much. I don't even know what and how much I don't know. I don't know what I need to know. But I have realized one thing, and I hope I've realized right, and that is that life sorts it out. What's meant to be, will be. Neither give up nor be impatient. If you are still breathing, you must be still trying.

     Signing off, my dear Sunflowers! Take care!

Monday, 4 July 2022

Depression Diary 3

Depression Dairy Returns!

Haha! I know the heading suc*s. But depression has struck again, so I apologise.

Well! It has been quite some time since I wrote my pevious and second blog on depression and had promised you guys another blog on how I overcame my depression. But honestly, with tears in my eyes and a hysterical laughter, I say this; I had just fooled myself that I were out of depression.

I realized it is just a phase of depression where you are strong for a few days. But having no expert's guidance, I thought that I had defeated my Demon Depression.

You know what the funny thing about chronic depression is? It makes you realize that life is not a bed of thorns. Sometimes, you get a shower of roses too. Of course, then the thorns get jealous and strike back with greater might!

So, I'm still in these troubled waters and mistook a buoy for my Island Paradise. Trust me; more than asthma patients get asthma attacks, I get depression attacks aka emotional breakdowns. 

Well! I'll be back with another update soon. Till then, bye and take care, my fellow depresseds!

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TROUBLE IN PARADISE

     I don't know what I'm feeling. My friend, I'll use the nickname I have for her, Mi-Chan, is angry with me; and I know that ...