Showing posts with label afraid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label afraid. Show all posts

Friday, 12 August 2022

Life, As It Is

Life has never been easy for me. Nor has it ever been impossible. It just has always been a bit too difficult. And that's the problem. I don't get things easily. Most times, I don't get those at all and like quite recently, I get those but lose as quickly as I can.

My life has always been along the edge. And I keep slipping. Barely making it to the next benchmark. I live on the peak of the most rugged mountain. Left, right, front, back; everywhere, I lose something. Staying is unbearable and going back is torturous.

There are a few flowers on the way, ever ready to spread their magical smell. But when you come near, you realize they stink and the sweet odour was just a cover-up. The vines grow and throw you off the feet; you try to get up, they push you back; herbs that were supposed to heal you, poison your wounds.

And to add chillies to an already hot soup, since the last 3rd year, I have developed this great attribute of quitting. Not many know, but I am about do it for the 8th time in a row.

What lies ahead, or rather behind now, are chartered waters; but the waters that pull you down. Every. Single. Time.

So, it goes like this. I am living on quick sand, I have to walk on burning coal and all this, only to fall into the inevitable black hole.

Monday, 4 July 2022

Depression Diary 3

Depression Dairy Returns!

Haha! I know the heading suc*s. But depression has struck again, so I apologise.

Well! It has been quite some time since I wrote my pevious and second blog on depression and had promised you guys another blog on how I overcame my depression. But honestly, with tears in my eyes and a hysterical laughter, I say this; I had just fooled myself that I were out of depression.

I realized it is just a phase of depression where you are strong for a few days. But having no expert's guidance, I thought that I had defeated my Demon Depression.

You know what the funny thing about chronic depression is? It makes you realize that life is not a bed of thorns. Sometimes, you get a shower of roses too. Of course, then the thorns get jealous and strike back with greater might!

So, I'm still in these troubled waters and mistook a buoy for my Island Paradise. Trust me; more than asthma patients get asthma attacks, I get depression attacks aka emotional breakdowns. 

Well! I'll be back with another update soon. Till then, bye and take care, my fellow depresseds!

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TROUBLE IN PARADISE

     I don't know what I'm feeling. My friend, I'll use the nickname I have for her, Mi-Chan, is angry with me; and I know that ...