I was just scolded for being hurt by my mother's indifference to my health. I have been down with cold for almost two weeks now and she still worries about which next saree to buy.
But while pondering over all these, something dawned upon me. Not regarding my cold, but about me being allowed to get angry.
All my life I have been called out for being angry, by my mother, sister, father and others. I know that I am scared to get angry and self-deprecate whenever I get angry on just anyone. They hurt me, I get pissed off and then start cursing myself for becoming angry. It is so because all my life whenever I got angry, either of the following happened.
1) I was told that there is nothing to get angry about.
2) I was told that I was over-reacting and probably, for attention.
3) I was called prideful and sometines, even egoistic.(Meet me in real life! Haha!)
4) I was told that I have no right to be angry because it was all my fault.
5) None, and I mean none, ever stood for me that my feelings are real and justified.
So, there you go, with all my bruises, all my scars. I think I am doing a good job seeing all that I had to go through and still am going through.(I still live with my family.) But now, I realize I am a human and WILL make mistakes but I can't possibly be wrong ALL THE TIME!
